Was is Murder or Suicide? Save the Chicken

In a follow-up story to the our recent Top Reasons to be glad you aren't a chicken, we found this front page headline on the cover of the South London Press: Chicken Addict's Suicide

We were very concerned that someone had taken the question that we found on Yahoo!Answers for "What is your favorite thing about not being a chicken?" to an extreme. Why would anyone actually commit suicide because of chicken? Perhaps it wasn't a suicide at all, but rather a murder, so we decided to investigate. We started with some cows, which have been trying to force the general population to "Eat more Chicken"

Wannabe Guru: Thank you for your cooperation on this investigation. Do you know why I am here today?

Cow A: Moooooo
Cow B: Moooooo
Cow C: silently stands, chewing cud with blank expression on face

WBG: What do you know about this "Chicken Addict Suicide?"

Cow A: Moooooo
Cow B: Moooooo
Cow C: rolls eyes, continues to chew cud

WBG: (I see this is going to be more difficult than I thought, perhaps a more subtle aproach may be more effective) Is it true that you have been involved in Chick-fil-A's heavy handed tactics (marketing campaign) to get people to eat more chicken, thus sparing the lives of you and others like you?

Cow A: Moooooo
Cow B: Moooooo
Cow C: chewing becomes more violent, seemingly more irritated.

WBG: I take that as a yes. Is it possible that one could take said advertising too literally, and potentially eat too much chicken?

Cow A: Moooooo
Cow B: Moooooo
Cow C: (erupting) You got nothing on us man! You can't hang no murder rap on us 'cause some fool decided to eat one too many chicken sandwiches. We ain't talkin'


WBG: Who said anything about murder?

So, I will leave you to draw your own conclusions, but it is safe to say that several chickens are a bit safer today, now that the Chicken Addict is off the street!